Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Hello 2015.

Warning: This post will be mostly be reminiscent of word salad.

Year-end post. Yes, I have always been doing this for the past couple of years. I got a lot on my mind, but I don't know where to start.

2014 gave me moments of "independent living" when my folks went for a long vacation. For a while, I felt I can truly handle responsibilities. and being free, of course

It also made me question a lot about my principles and decision making. There was a time I truly believed this person was telling the truth and was doing the right thing. Yet I knew deep down, either I was being too gullible or I have the idea that somehow that person will come to senses. But I gave up. i've already said my piece, live your life, but I do not and will never condone. To be honest, it makes me feel paranoid, even though i know i have nothing to worry about my own.

It took me a while, but I finally started investing my money, and I am still attending "lectures. to enhance knowledge." Hopefully, I can grow my money enough to live the life I want. I haven't saved as much as I should, but I will try my best to work it out this 2015, and finally reach that goal.

I don't want to be like others, thinking this is just the time when the leaf turns over to a new one. I dont wanna have the "nagpalit lang ng taon mentality. I want to start making changes.
Year end post as usual. I don't usually go out the day before christmas or nee year, but today im feeling impulsive and i have been wanting to cut my hair for a while. Anway, i dont know if i should make any goals for 2015 cause i might end up ningas kugon. Sayang lang. But i know i have to have an effing plan.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Ill-mannered people

Some people are just plain a**holes. Alam nang nauna ako sa pila mangunguna pa tapos magagalit pag nasita, at kasalanan ko pa kesyo namimili ako ng upuan? Tanga ka te syempre uupo ako kung saan mas mabilis makababa ng di nakakaistorbo sa pasahero. Malay ko bang 2 lang upuan sa 2nd row. How dare you rationalize! Sumingit ka and you know it kasi bumaba ka!

Friday, December 26, 2014

I got a lot on my plate right now. Frankly, reunions make me think about my life and where I stand right now. I'm pretty sure everyone my age feels the same. I don't wanna feel the pressure but it gets me. Small things make me think of unecessary shits.

I am starting to think if I am being too idealistic or just plain lazy. If you ask me, I think everything is going fine-except with my career. that's just one thing I wanted to sort out. I want to earn a living doing what I really wanted.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Time of the year

Happy Christmas! I have opened all my gifts and still have ones that i need to give away. If only i have a car ill go santa.

I got my 20s ready just in case kids come in.

Im still feeling sleepy.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Honestly, I don't know what title would be suitable for this. I'm still feeling under the weather and though I feel my condition improved physically, i still need more rest. But the thing is I only had 4 hours of sleep and i couldnt go back. I tried, but I can't I wish I could always sleep for 8 hours straight. I'm ruining my body. eyebags become luggages. Might as well be part of the walkers.

To make it worse, I hear them arguing and bickering for I don't know what. Pop's on hulk mode again. I am too tired to meddle. They'll make up eventually. Matanda na sila. Hay. I wish I could have my own space to live in.


So why can't I have one?

First of all, it's not feasible on my budget (duh); second, folks might not like the idea, although I don't think they would forbid me; third, I'm too comfortable on my bedroom. Sheez, I'm 26, I should be able to handle this more efficiently.


For now, I just need some more orange juice, to make me feel better. Can't wait for rest day. -_-

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Sleep

I called in sick to work as i was feeling under the weather. That was a bit unexpected since I was just fine yesterday. But when I woke up, I felt chills all over my body. My whole body hurts.

I tried to contemplate due to perfect attendance reward and lwop. But i inew i wouldnt function well to work. Might as well get some more sleep.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Goals

I've been calculating all my expenses for the holidays to make sure I'm within the set budget limit. So far, I'm doing good. I'm having a hard time with some ninja expenses though. Now I'm having all these goals that I want to set in 2015, wondering if this time I'll make it.


I wanted to make some big moves, but I dont have enough funds yet. It's hard to to make one knowing it will take years before it can materialize, and I know things will not be the same as always. I think I may have indulged a lot this year, specifically on food and traveling. Christmas holidays are usually the only time I splurge on material stuff. Probably because I have grown up with the idea that it's okay to buy something as a gift for yourself this Christmas. Besides it's a better idea, than waiting for someone to buy it for me (unless someone seriously wanted to give me).


Okay, I'm getting out of topic. So I just wanted to say that I want to prioritize fulfilling financial goals for 2015. I got a lot on my plate right now, so I need to sort it out.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Monday

!7 days to go before Christmas. But there's a storm right now, and as far as I know, it's getting closer and closer. I skipped running for now and decided to lay down in bed with covers underneath. I am hoping that the storm will weaken and spare from further damages.

It suddenly occurred to me that since while I'm still on my folk's roof, I should fund up a portion for the house maintenace, specifically our roof. We've gone through several storms over the years. But our house is getting old and needs some maintenace, so I would probably ask for a quote to prevent our roof from flying-or repairing if in worse case it does. But I DON'T want.


So I am prioritizing emergency funds for now.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

12

December. I am actually excited about the upcoming holidays, but this impending storm makes me feel uneasy. It's massive, anyone can be greatly affected. I am still hoping it will somehow weaken. But I think the only way for it to weaken is to make a landfall. :/ I hope the storm will just literally pass by quickly. I am seriously scared for everyone.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Always, always, always, ask first before doing something drastic. It may be pointless on your view, but to others it is a big deal.

When something doesn't go you way, convince yourself that there is much more to life than holding grudges. When you feel angry, breathe in, breathe out. try to express it as diplomatically as possible.

This may be the worst day, but in the next five years, it wouldn't matter that much.


People who belittle you are actually just a reflection of how they see themselves. it's called projection.

Monday, November 17, 2014

On explorations...

I waited for a long time to this possible. Actually I wasnt expecting that trip down south will push through. Thanks to everyone's persistence, it finally materialized. My friends and I are finally going somewhere far.

Upon arrival to Tagbilaran airport, we took a van and started the road trip to the must-see spots. First stop: blood compact monument. It's basically just a group of statue that represents part of Philippine history upon the invasion of the Spaniards. Baclayon Church: I was able to see the site being repaired from the damage caused by the earthquake. I felt goosebumps as I was staring at the tower with it's top chopped off, with some of the huge debris scattered in the field near the church floor. I could imagine how terrifying those 33 seconds of tremors was. Next was the Python sanctuary. To be honest, I was a bit turned off with the guide because he/she was a stuck-up. Anyway, at least he knows what he's doing, so we took a picture with the huge snakes (scary by the way). Loboc river Cruise. Boyfriend was right for warning me, the food isn't that scrumptious. For 450 peso-buffet, seems like we just actually paid for the river cruise itself. At least the view of the falls and colloidal water compensated for it. And not to forget the choir. Hanging bridge: I dont know why I feel courageous to cross the narrow bridge made of bamboo. I just did. Tarsier sanctuary, one of the reasons why I want to go to Bohol. I finally saw them in real life. Their size is that of a kitten, or a mouse, with it's head slighty bigger, well because they had huge eyes too. and since they are nocturnal creatures, we kept quiet and just took pictures of them sleeping.Although there's this one we got to see jumping from one twig to another.

to be continued...

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

New November

Looks like Im gonna need to sit down this weekend and re-evaluate some things. I just need to assess where I want to be and what I wanted to be. 2014 is about to end, and another leaf will be turned over so I need to check where Im at. I think there are more important things to do than dealing with petty immature people.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Taking matters into own hands

Okay. I have stopped running for a while to recover from Plantar Fasciitis. With that, I had little to no exercise, more food, and more weight gain. But now, that I'm feeling better, I think I'm ready to get back on track. I have started some short routine of running a couple of weeks ago. Didn't bother with my speed like I used to (cause that's where I most likely got my injury). I just ran for a good 10 minutes for 1-3 times per week. I ditched my flats and started to wear cushioned shoes. I can barely feel the pain on my heels, except when I walked for way too long.

I have challenged myself to an 8-week routine/plan. To be honest I kinda hate calling it a plan cause I sometimes find myself feeling strangled half-way and end up not doing it. But I just want to put myself in a place where I finally don't feel sluggish and resort to binge eating and laxatives. I wanna do and keep this as normal as possible. People may have mocked me for doing this running gig yet didn't have significant changes. But soon, there will be. I am doing this for my own good. I don't wanna put my or anyone's money on lifetime medications and treatment of complications.

So I have already set the goal to reach 120 lbs by the first week of 2015. I know, it's a bit of a "suicide mission" because December is the season to eat, eat, and be merry. Oh well, challenge accepted. I will hope not to get more fat for Christmas.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Haloween-All-Saints day weekend

November 1st. I opted to stay home instead of joining my folks to drop by the cemetery. I didn't feel like going through the wave of the crowd coming towards the cemetery, considering the holidays fell exactly on the weekends. I have candles though to light up as a way of remembering my departed relatives.

And I was right. As expected, the news televised the live surge of the crowd coming in and out. There were even reports of lost kids. And some are just stubborn to still bring sharp objects. Seriously?

Anyway, I have the house to myself, and was told they'd be eating outside so ordered some pizza for myself, and wasted hours watching from travel show to science fight and fell asleep somewhere in between. I should be doing something productive but I ended up lying in bed. But it's alright, I appreciate lazy nights lately. I begin to crave for more free time, doing something else. Lately I just want to sulk and try to get over some personal issues that bother me. I am trying to get over the fact that there will always be someone who will judge me down to my core. I shouldnt bother caring.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Wednesday

Lately, I have found myself frustrated over some things. Like one thing would bother me to another. This includes work and career. Lately I have been feeling like I wanted to look somewhere else with better opportunities. But there are a LOT of factors to consider. Maybe I am afraid to leave the comfort zone cause I might be able to have the same "perks" I get. Yet I know there are places out there which has a lot better benefits. I just fear that it will be at the price of losing a work-life balance. I've had worse before and I never wanna go back there again.

I need to sort things out. Maybe I just need some time off, which I will be having again, soon. Maybe I should get myself into more challenging things. I should stop feeling scared of rejection, of failing, because that's where learning begins.

Friday, October 24, 2014

TGIF!

YES! Finally, Friday has arrived. last day of work week and I get back another 2 days of rest. Then back to work on Monday, but that's okay. Two more weeks and I'm off to another holiday. I hope the weather cooperates. Pretty please, no more typhoons?

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Tuesday.

Hey Tuesday, how's it going?

Im cramming all my thoughts again on this post before I go to work, because I might just blew out of proportion. so I barely had sleep, about 4 hours to be exact and a quick nap in the afternoon. So chances are I might be sleepy at work later. I am hoping no call files will come in yet tonight. I am not quite in the mood to hassle with difficult agents. And I want more time to listen to Ed Sheeran's tracks.

I need to think more about the morning shift. I really, really wanted to have a normal sleeping time, for a longer time. But that dayshift job will cost me much. And I might just end up earning more or less than half of what I'm getting. Sucks. Big time. Ugh. I still need more time to think things through.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Monday Again.

Monday again? Oh well, world goes round and I have to pick up some speed. I actually had a good weekend, but lately I have been wanting for an extra day off. I know, abuso. Argh. I sometimes feel like I am stuck-in-between. Still early to go solo/hitched; too old to try some things.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Mcdonald's Twister Fries

Ah. those curled-up potatoes, fresh from a sea of cooking oil. That crunchy, distinct salty taste that makes everyone wonder what the secret spice is.

Yung totoo, ano nga bang meron sa twister fries at feeling ko eh mas masarap siya kesa sa regular fries? dahil ba seasonal lang available ito, at magaling ang marketing strategy ng Mcdo?

Kung super health conscious ka, baka ni isang piraso eh hindi mo isubo sa dami ng calories-sayang naman ang work out mo sa mamahaling gym. Hehehehe.

Seriously, masarap nga siya. Kebs kung Genetically Modified Potato yan. Sabi nga ng hashtag nila, minsan lang to. Syempre, alam naman nating lahat na kahit anong SOBRA eh hindi maganda sa katawan.

Basag Trip

Alam ko na ako yung tipo ng taong tahimik lang nakikinig sa reklamo ng iba. Minsan sumasangayon, minsan naman nag-ooffer ng alternative explanation. Pero sadya yatang may hangganan ang pisi ko at nakapag bitaw ako ng matatalim na talinghaga. O baka naman kasi may monthly visitor ako at altered ang mood ko, kaya "maiksi" pasensya ko.

It bothers me a bit, pero ang mas nakakapagtaka ay wala akong maramdamang guilt. Parang hindi ko yata pinagsisisihan na sinabi ko ang saloobin ko ng walang sugar-coat. At bihirang bihira mangyari yun.

Hindi din naman ako perpekto. Minsan na din ako magreklamo ng halos buong araw, at nabara na din. Which is tanggap ko naman. So anong point ko?

I'm trying to figure out if I was being tactless, or it was just out of frustration to balance brain filters. Ah ewan. Basta sa ngayon, ang alam ko tama lang naman sinabi ko. At hindi ko naman ipinagbabawal ang pagrereklamo. That's one of many ways of releasing stress. Kung natamaan at nagalit, eh sorry nalang, nasa sa tao naman yan kung didibdibin ng husto o hindi.


Ika nga ni Taylor Swift, "shake it off."

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Long Weekend

It's Friday night and I'm at home, lying comfortably in bed. Work got canceled due to inclement weather brought by Typhoon Mario. Actually, the management said it's 'optional' to go to work. However, everyone opted not to, and avoid risk being stranded.

So, here I am having some personal/career talk with a co-worker. The idea of looking for other opportunity seems a little tempting lately. I have been asking around what i'ts like to work on bigger BPO companies. At one look, the compensation package and incentives would be enough to jump in. Yet, it is obvious enough that with bigger pay comes bigger responsibility.

I am trying to divide the advantage and disadvantage of my workplace. If I think about it, the advantages are quite hard to disregard. But on some instances, it makes me want to pass a resignation letter on impulse. To add, I have other things I want to achieve and has been i conflict current socio-economic status. Hard to explain, but the bottom line is it's a prioritization between needs and wants.

I am thankful for this 'free time' I got. It will be helpful for me to think about what I've done, and where I really wanted to be. Since I won't be able to do laundry, I might as well use this time to re-organize my room. Hopefully, it will help me think things through.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Monday- Everything will be okay

Let me quote

It's Monday. I know, this is the most despicable day of the week -unless it's a holiday. So the dragging feeling is staring to come out. Yet, swimming over sad emotions won't help. So I'd rather rationalize to make things easier.

Yes, I have bills and debts to pay. But after everything is cleared off, it will be okay. I can always start over. Yes I feel frustrated that half of my paycheck will go to settle some payments, but I know once it is over, I can always continue saving and investing for the future. And while I am unsure of the career path I'm taking, I am going to do myself a favor and enjoy life by engaging more in positivity. I should help myself and back off from all the mean people, who obviously is hiding some weakness under that cattiness. Insecurity should not be part of my personality. I'd rather be a basic bitch than pretend to have an outstanding personality by being mean. I will try to stand up to anyone who tries to put me down or mock me.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

I want to cut off all the BV

I'm tired of all the negativity. I'm tired of taking in all the negativity and the bad vibes and problems. I know there will always be problems, but I'm tired of being cynical. I AM TIRED OF ALL THE NEGATIVITY.

I just want to be inspired, but I am stopped by how people around perceive me. It's all about how I turn things around. I know, I am being mocked. But I am tired of thinking about all the what-ifs in life. I just want to live as it should be, practice what I believe in, without the guilt feelings when questioned.

I still don't know where I will be in terms of career. Yes I have talents and passion, but I am losing motivation. I need to motivate myself, because I cannot rely on other people all the time. Some of them would just love the sight of me breaking down. I can't take this anymore. No, I just can't.

I don't wanna be anyone's company for misery. Not anymore. No, I don't want to be that girl who gets envious at other people's accomplishment, and feels elated when they fail. No, I don't want to be happy at anyone's failure; that's not how I was taught. I didn't get 26 years of life just to feel bitter at other's success. I can make my own life successful. I know, I can, I just need to convince myself though.

I don't have to deal with gossips, especially at work. Somehow, I can't help but listen, yet I know at some point I have been (or still is) anyone's subject. No, I don't want to invest my feelings on nonsensical stuff.


Today might not be okay, but that doesn't mean I will be miserable for life. And if someone is going through hell doesn't mean I can join them in their misery. I can try to help, but if they don't want to, then that is out of my hands and no need to feel guilty about it.

No, I am not a doormat who can be walked all over by anyone. So I will try to do myself a favor and walk away from all the petty stuff.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

New Lemmings

So okay, I got a LOT of things going on with me. But I have never been this interested in a while, I think. So I got some encouragements to save and invest. But it wasn't until now that i am starting to see the light. Yeah sorry for being dramatic.

What finally pushed me to take the risk? I just don't want to grow old miserable and wondering what have i done to my earnings, and depending solely on monthly pensions (if I get there).

This is it.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Lunch break

In the middle of the night. While everyone is busy on their fastfood, here i am finding time to let all my thoughts out. I cant finalize plans as of this moment. Cause i just hate too much expectations.

I dont know, but i dont think to be bothered further. Its enough that they got into my head, i dont want these babd thoughts to stay forever.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Use your claws sparingly

Im a bit bothered.This person told me wag daw ako masyadong mabait. Trabslation:doormat. Do i have to retort and make cat fight on things that should have been let go? Hindi naman yata sa lahat ng oras eh kelangan magtarayan.

Medyo naiirita ako.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Luxury

My boyfriend and I were strolling somewhere in a mall in Manila. As we were looking for seats to rest, we stumbled upon the area where high-end brands are in display. Handbags and shoes in various hues are neatly displayed as if it subtly says "fragile." As we walk past, bf suddenly asked me if I want (designer) bags. I snorted. Was he serious? I replied "why?", to which he explained "diba, mahilig mga babae sa mamahaling bag? (aren't girls into expensive bags?)"

He has a point though. I know a number of people who go crazy upon hearing the names of Kate Spade, Hermes, Chanel, Michael Kors, and so on. I bet the harder to pronouce its name, the more expensive it is.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not gonna lecture how a single bag can feed a small-town children in Africa, or wherever. It's just that it's not my cup of tea for the following reasons:

1. I'm not rich. I can only buy what I can afford. I may go over the budget if necessary or I want reward myself once in a while. However, I will not steep THAT much nor even buy through credit just to have a bag.

2. I don't have a death wish. same goes for the concept of wearing jewelry in public. Thieves these days are desperate, and will not even flinch if they'd have to kill just to get what they want. Or they cant just cut your arm off.

3. I completely understand the concept of having expensive items in the society and what it entails. For those who were born yesterday, let me explain: buying luxury item/s, denotes that you are also buying the brand itself. and, as bias as it may seem, you have the bragging rights. On the other hand, I don't think I can trade thousands of peso just to feel privileged. Or to declare my financial status.

My point is, if you have the money, then I would leave you alone. But if you'd have to loan, steal, just to get a brand for feel good's sake, then, I'm afraid to say that you, my friend need to recollect your thoughts. One more thing, if you are one of those people that take interest on someone based on what they have, you definitely are shallow.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Word Salad on Finances and spending habits...

A co-worker and I were having some conversation about payday taking too long, and purchase plans. She once said to me, "I admire how money-wise you are. Soooo unmaterialistic..."

I was gonna feel flattered, but then I knew patronizing myself won't hide some truths on how i deal with money.

Everyone has its weakness, which triggers impulse decision. Most women my age would go for apparel, shoes, bags, make-up etc. I, however have a weakness for food. Yes, food. I would be willing to spend a little more on food that I would find delectable to try. I am fond of going to community market, to have a sample of a foreign cuisine. I might be a frustrated food critic or whatever. so that explains why I'm a little drained days before the next paycheck comes.

However, I am proud to say I got my priorities covered. All thanks to reading some self-help books. I pay all the bills due first, save a certain amount, then the rest to expenses. I've been following that principle for a while. Although lately I cant save due to some impulsive purchase and unexpected events (read: allergy).

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Long weekend, astigmatism, life plans...

Thanks to fourth of July holiday in US... i got more time to do... nothing.

It would have been a perfect time to hit the mall and do some "retail therapy," catch up with friends, date with boyfriend. But schedule and money doesnt jive...so... *forever alone mode*

Had i enough time for myself? Well, more than enough. But i spent the last two days sleeping the whole night after doing some errands. No dinner date/ milk tea nights.

Ive been suffering from headache lately, to which it only made sense when i had my physical exam. According to the opthalmologist who had seen me, i am farsighted, and have astigmatism. He recommends i wear glasses to work since i am always in front of a computer. Sigh. Whatever happened to perfect vision?

Plans for the next three-four years? Ugh. Please dont ask me that. I need more time and money. And to minimize all the wants in this world.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Ramble ramble

Thursday. And since tomorrow will be the 4th of July,no work for me. Yay....but I dont know where to go...Im low on cash, but i dont want to stay home all long weekend. Not after that pep talk/ drama with my dad. I dont want to put pressure on something im not sure of.

Im about to reach the late twenties stage. And my dad gave this speech again about me not getting younger, what are your plans blah blah blah...ugh.

So i had no choice but to tell the truth that i still dont know what to do with my life. And he asked if i have been considering any plans like getting hitched or grad school...or as he calls it, upgrading. Sigh.

And i finally confirmed my hutch about my sister's current relationship status. Im not that shocked. Its been kinda obvious for the last few years shes been with her.

Im more surprised at my dad's reaction. He cried, and he thinks that sissy has just done that because she has no other shoulder to cry on. I disagree though.

I think that has been her preference since...but could not open up to my parents...plus the fact that she hasnt mentioned a boy she fancies...and my parent were like pushing her on every boy she has platonic relatuonships at work.

Anyway, my point is, i know my parents had this ideal concept of us, of our character. But reality is we are far from what they think we are.

In all fairness, they got nothing to complain. She's on the greener pasture and living the life almost everyone would kill for.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

OOTD

Wednesday. Third week of indefinite OT. I woke up 12 noon which is again waaaay to early. I don't understand. I usually wake up this early when I have a date prior to work hours. Yes I'd feel sleepy, but not to the point of being groggy like what happened to me last night. I wanted to be pissed, but being angry for a long time won't help and won't cease the OT. Only the elders have the right to do so. Until we appease them. Sigh.

The longer hours I stay in that place, the more chances I become cranky. No wonder others were telling me I looked too serious. I just cant laugh off the fact that for 3 days a week I will be spending extra 2 hours. Even compensation can't replace the precious time for rest or personal time. I really hope this will end soon. Like, SOON.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Heat wave

At dahil mainit sa bahay, naisipan ko na munang umalis at magpalamig. Wala naman akong ibang malinaw na agenda bukod sa magpalamig lang talaga.

Grabe ang init sa bahay. Nakakalusaw. Sira na ang ac sa kwarto at yung sa sala naman kelangan daw palinis. Kaya eto nakiki-aircon nalang ako sa kapihan. Buti nalang at sinama ako ni bf sa family outing nila kahapon kaya nakatakas ulit sa init. Ang mahirap pagdating nanaman ng weekday. Pahirapan matulog ng tanghali. Tapos may OT pa.

Sabi nila mama bili nalang daw bago. Tutal naman 33years na yun. Wrong timing pagkasira. Naiisipan kong bayaran ang kalahati para hindi na masyadong mabigat sa kanila. Ilang linggo nalang naman pero ang hirap tiisin, baka ma heat stroke kami pare pareho. Ang tagal pa ng susunod na sweldo. Pano kaya? Bahala na.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Stupidity at its finest

I just want to rant about the hassle this year book has brought about.

To be honest, I thought that book was gone with the wind. But i was surprised to see on my fb feed that it was already available. But here's the stupid catch- it was only available at the school to claim for two effin days, and i had no clue, either.

When i asked the organizer about it, all he replied was the adress is for to follow as he is still fixing the endorsement papers. Seriously?!

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Why am i feeling down? Is it because i feel being pressured again? Im cuurently happy with what i have right now, but after having a spat it seems as if i have no dream at all....

Testing

Test posting...