Saturday, September 20, 2014

Long Weekend

It's Friday night and I'm at home, lying comfortably in bed. Work got canceled due to inclement weather brought by Typhoon Mario. Actually, the management said it's 'optional' to go to work. However, everyone opted not to, and avoid risk being stranded.

So, here I am having some personal/career talk with a co-worker. The idea of looking for other opportunity seems a little tempting lately. I have been asking around what i'ts like to work on bigger BPO companies. At one look, the compensation package and incentives would be enough to jump in. Yet, it is obvious enough that with bigger pay comes bigger responsibility.

I am trying to divide the advantage and disadvantage of my workplace. If I think about it, the advantages are quite hard to disregard. But on some instances, it makes me want to pass a resignation letter on impulse. To add, I have other things I want to achieve and has been i conflict current socio-economic status. Hard to explain, but the bottom line is it's a prioritization between needs and wants.

I am thankful for this 'free time' I got. It will be helpful for me to think about what I've done, and where I really wanted to be. Since I won't be able to do laundry, I might as well use this time to re-organize my room. Hopefully, it will help me think things through.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Monday- Everything will be okay

Let me quote

It's Monday. I know, this is the most despicable day of the week -unless it's a holiday. So the dragging feeling is staring to come out. Yet, swimming over sad emotions won't help. So I'd rather rationalize to make things easier.

Yes, I have bills and debts to pay. But after everything is cleared off, it will be okay. I can always start over. Yes I feel frustrated that half of my paycheck will go to settle some payments, but I know once it is over, I can always continue saving and investing for the future. And while I am unsure of the career path I'm taking, I am going to do myself a favor and enjoy life by engaging more in positivity. I should help myself and back off from all the mean people, who obviously is hiding some weakness under that cattiness. Insecurity should not be part of my personality. I'd rather be a basic bitch than pretend to have an outstanding personality by being mean. I will try to stand up to anyone who tries to put me down or mock me.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

I want to cut off all the BV

I'm tired of all the negativity. I'm tired of taking in all the negativity and the bad vibes and problems. I know there will always be problems, but I'm tired of being cynical. I AM TIRED OF ALL THE NEGATIVITY.

I just want to be inspired, but I am stopped by how people around perceive me. It's all about how I turn things around. I know, I am being mocked. But I am tired of thinking about all the what-ifs in life. I just want to live as it should be, practice what I believe in, without the guilt feelings when questioned.

I still don't know where I will be in terms of career. Yes I have talents and passion, but I am losing motivation. I need to motivate myself, because I cannot rely on other people all the time. Some of them would just love the sight of me breaking down. I can't take this anymore. No, I just can't.

I don't wanna be anyone's company for misery. Not anymore. No, I don't want to be that girl who gets envious at other people's accomplishment, and feels elated when they fail. No, I don't want to be happy at anyone's failure; that's not how I was taught. I didn't get 26 years of life just to feel bitter at other's success. I can make my own life successful. I know, I can, I just need to convince myself though.

I don't have to deal with gossips, especially at work. Somehow, I can't help but listen, yet I know at some point I have been (or still is) anyone's subject. No, I don't want to invest my feelings on nonsensical stuff.

Today might not be okay, but that doesn't mean I will be miserable for life. And if someone is going through hell doesn't mean I can join them in their misery. I can try to help, but if they don't want to, then that is out of my hands and no need to feel guilty about it.

No, I am not a doormat who can be walked all over by anyone. So I will try to do myself a favor and walk away from all the petty stuff.