Sunday, June 28, 2015

Art of Gratitude

Things to be thankful for:

-Healthy Parents
At this age, I should spend more time with them, while they're still around. I should be thankful that they are still here.
-Healthy relationship
I'm thankful that he can tolerate my mood swings. I know we love each other, including our own faults. And we only do online PDA when we feel like it, not every single day.
-TRUE friends
Yes, a handful of true friends, tried and tested over time. I may not have real friends at work, but at least I am contented that I have someone I can count on in real life, and outside of work.

Sunday Slowdown

Hanging out at a milk tea place (yes it's safe) on a Sunday. There's an internet connection at home and it's pretty fast, yet I chose to go out. Not because I hate it there. I just wanted to stay in a place where I can concentrate. I need to get my mind working, "creative juices" flowing." And yes hopefully, to start resolving personal issues that has been bugging me for quite some time.

Maybe, I just need to adjust my perspective. I just need to change how I view the world. I need to be more definitive of my own views and not just settle, or be agreeable just to keep peace. I've hung out, tolerated negative actions of people, even though they go against my will, because I was too afraid to speak, to differ them. It's not that I've kept silent. I have said my piece, but was just too afraid to breakaway, distance myself. I've come to a point of codependency (some call it clingy). The result? It all backfired on me. I'm thankful though that it happened.

I could go on and wallow, but I'll save that on my personal space. Right now, I want some action. I want some changes to be made. Not overnight. I know change take months or even years to happen. I just want to be busy, I won't even care about office gossip (or if people are talking about me) and other trivial matters. This has been the nth attempt, so far. But I hope this won't be the last. I just dont want to be the dead fish anymore.

My agenda for now, is to identify what I really want, what to do on it, and push myself to stick with whatever plan I may come up.